When Opening Up Gives Closure
(Disclaimer: just because I’m sharing it today doesn’t mean I’m not yet okay. I am able to share because I believe I have been healed. ☺️ [The draft was also written weeks ago na. 😊]
Also this was originally posted in my personal Facebook page)
Back in 2015, I left the last corporate job I had. During the Good Friday, I shared the reason I left, and that I had this unforgiveness in my heart for my former boss. She was, at the time, my anointed tribulator.
After opening up my heart to a community, about the challenges I went through with that boss, I believe that helped kickstart my healing. And today, when I remember about the things I experienced, I no longer see them as hardships. Rather, they were necessary to develop my character.
There was one thing in my life, though, that had happened, and for some reason, I couldn’t find closure on it. Though I have long forgiven my tribulators, I still sometimes find myself hurt and bitter. But it never showed. Until one Wednesday, in August.
I was in a Bible Study session with a few High School batchmates. The talk was given by a doctor batchmate, and it was about how we can be made perfect in Christ. But what spoke to me was how she shared her about with rejection and pain, that I had to turn off both video and audio feed so they wouldn’t know tears just streamed.
I was broke open, and all these emotions just came. The remnants of the pain I was made to experience a little over two decades ago.
I couldn’t bring myself to share before every one else was done giving theirs. A few people already left the meeting to attend to other matters, so only a few got to hear my story. And I just poured it all out.
I don’t remember if I made sense. If I were able to relate my sharing with the topic. But I knew I began sharing about how I came to know the Lord, but didn’t fully understand who He is. And how all my life, since I had my LSS (Life in the Spirit Seminar), I knew and believed that whatever bad or unpleasant thing that happened to me, it came with a purpose.
Yes, even that part when I was bullied by my junior high school classmates.
And how I felt a little redemption and salvation when it was only me from our junior section that made it to the top section during our Senior year.
And how one of those who have hurt me, now facilitates our Bible studies.
God showed me how His love moves… And transforms… That when my now brother-in-Christ apologized for his part in my past hurt, it miraculously brushed off years of pain from every one else.
And the weird, but I know it’s only part of the miracle, thing is, when I try to recall what had happened, I have sort of forgotten the hurtful memories already. And definitely, it’s like this big load has been taken off my shoulders.
I guess, that was the feeling of closure.
It took about 15mins of openly pouring my heart out, 1 sincere apology, and a heartfelt prayer to finally give me that closure, for a lifetime’s worth of peace.
For those of you still battling some demons from the past, perhaps inflicted or influenced by other people, or even by yourself. I just wanna tell you that it’s not gonna be a nice journey in life to be carrying all that burden. But the peace after letting it all out in the open was super worth it all. 🥰
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