There is this saying, “Forgive & Forget.” In my lifetime, there are lots of times when I actually do this to people from the past. Most, I have forgiven, but most of them, I’ve had difficulty to forget.
I often wonder, why… Why do I need to do both? Why is it necessary? Those people hurt me. Those people did not even ask for forgiveness! And how can I forget? They’ve done me a great deal of wrongs! Some of the failures and mistakes I’ve gone through were brought by and because of them!
And then, I realize that God has a way of mixing bad and good for my good. Like, there may be a lot of bad things that happened in my life, or I may have encountered a lot of bad people. But if not for these, I wouldn’t have the appreciation for the good things… For the good people!
And why do we need to look at our past hurts and trigger our present hates? I know there are times when I know and believe that I have forgiven people who have done me wrong in the past. But I couldn’t really forget them, or what they did to me.
The thing is, my “forgiving and forgetting” is a work-in-progress. And one thing that I consciously do whenever I remember my past hurts is to just say a “Thank You” to God for what happened.
I felt that those people have tested my faith and belief in myself, that eventually I have learned to be more resilient in dealing with people like them, and I’ve learned to love myself more. And so that makes me grateful to God.
And I guess as I work on forgiving and forgetting, God calls for you to do the same. If there were some people whom you feel some hatred because of what they did to you, pray for them.
It could be difficult to go back to how you were before you drifted apart, and God wouldn’t expect that the relationship be the same. It may be difficult to connect with them again. But sincerely pray for them. Believe me, it can put some peace in your heart. That after that Past Hurt, instead of a Present Hate, you’ll gain a Peaceful Heart. 😊
I hope I made sense… God is somehow knocking on me to write this, despite the fact that I have difficulty in forgetting the past hurts. But I do know that they no longer trigger a barrage of ill feelings. And yet somehow, I have that peace in me that I am thankful to those persons because I wouldn’t where and who am I today if it weren’t for them. I hope the same for you too.
“The peace of Christ must control your hearts—a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people.” Colossians 3:15 | CEB