The hardest person to love is MYSELF.
I’ve yet again had a bout with insecurity. And the evil one’s voice became a little louder than usual. I’ve heard the statements so many times that I could almost believe them to be true. They also negate the very things I believed so much for the past few years.
I am not worthy of love.
I am not deserving of any support, affirmation, or approval.
I am not a good person/friend/wife/mom/daughter.
What I create don’t deserve an audience.
What I write don’t deserve readers.
What I say don’t deserve listeners.
I am not worthy of anything.
I am lazy, insecure, and selfish.
I deserve the pain, neglect, and betrayal that comes to me.
I know God lives in me, but it feels like He is no longer alive in me.
I guess the pain’s beginning to overpower me that I had to share it with someone, to somehow relieve myself of the pain and the burden, and I sure am glad I did.
God truly surrounds us with the most awesome people who not only reminds us of His love, but also reminds us that we are His. For me, these people reminded me of God’s promises. They reminded me that I don’t need the approval and affirmation of others. They reminded me that God’s love doesn’t need to cost me anything because it’s all for free, and it’s for me.
They reminded me of God’s daily manifestations of love. Those that I have failed to notice because I’m looking for it from all the wrong places. They reminded me that I am truly God’s beloved.
Okay, so I still believe that for me, the hardest person to love is myself… I am just so glad that God doesn’t ever find it that difficult.