I went to the Jewels Conference last Saturday, on June 1st. This was a conference for Women, of all ages and of all statuses. I attended last year, and I was super blessed! So I was really looking forward to being blessed again this year…
But I didn’t feel blessed.. (Boo!!!)
Why, you ask?
Okay, it’s not that I wasn’t really blessed. I mean, the speakers were great! A lot of them emphasized on taking care of ourselves, being grateful for opportunities, and having a positive mindset. These were things I needed to hear. Things that a stay-at-home, work-from-home, helper-less, and planning-to-homeschool mom like me needs to hear.
They were all blessings, believe me! I bet all the women who attended the conference were truly blessed, one way or another, one aspect of life or more, including me… But I didn’t feel satisfied.
Like, I didn’t think it was enough. I didn’t feel like it added anything to what I was already doing and what I already know. There wasn’t a big “Aha!” moment for me. It wasn’t that I wasn’t open to learning something new… It’s just that the conference was able to hook me at the beginning, but I slipped as the day progressed. Not that I was no longer interested in what followed. But I guess I became distracted with all that’s happening.
It was a time for myself, and supposedly a time with the Lord, and feeling His love so that I have a love tank that is full to the brim. That when I return to my family and to my usual day, I am a better person.
But then, God must have a different plan… I wasn’t satisfied, but He planted a seed. And when a seed is planted, one would not really know what kind of plant it is until it sprouts from the ground, grows into a tree, and bears fruit. No one but the One who planted it know what kind of a seed it is.
And so, bearing in mind what I have learned from the Jewels Conference, and applying it in whatever aspect of my life I need it to be applied to, I would only know that when I actually need it. Did I make sense there?
When I opened up to a few friends about my experience with the conference, they all almost said the same thing: the conference wasn’t something that I needed at the moment. That I expected something more than the conference can bring, but I already got whatever it is from the Woman of Worth retreat. Like, the validation that what I felt and was feeling were normal and can be transformed into something healthy. Or the reminder that I needed to take care of myself more.
I also remember when I attended the Women Of Worth retreat before the Holy Week, some of our expectations were laid out. One of them that stuck with me is that we won’t be healed immediately after attending the retreat. If we need healing, it will some, but it will take time.
And so it is after the Jewel’s Conference. Whatever it is that God wanted me to have, to experience, to bring home, and to share with others, it will come. It will take time, but it will come. When I need it, when someone I care about needs it, or when someone reminds me of it. I would probably read my notes after this, review what I wrote and think about why they struck me that I have to note it.
And as God planted that seed, perhaps what will grow is my patience in waiting for God’s answers, patience in treating and nurturing my toddler. Perhaps I’ll also grow my understanding in terms of dealing with my family, in reflecting for what song to use to lead worship, and in terms of knowing God’s plan and purpose in any challenge. Perhaps I’ll also grow my heart, mind, and soul, so I would be able to love way beyond understanding. Love my family, my friends, and those people who have done me wrong. Eventually, I’ll definitely grow more in His blessings, in His love, and in His grace, that there is nothing that could stop me from radiating His glory through my life.