Before I got married, I was working for the best Quick Service Restaurant Companies in the world (yep! Still saying that with a little bias). In this company, I met a lot of great people and I got to work with them. It was in this company that I was able to learn how to drive, be street smart, and have high attention to detail (because it’s costly not to pay attention.)
I had a good boss whom I treated as a friend. She was quite nice to me. I somehow enjoyed working with her because I felt motivated around her. She commends my analysis. She trusts my command in English, especially in composing letters. I mean, working with her was a breeze.
I wasn’t really sure what happened and how it started (or perhaps back then I knew, but I just don’t remember now,) but somehow I began to feel like I was being taken advantage of. My hardest work, those that I really did the dirty work, were suddenly attributed and credited to her. Not that I sought validation, but in terms of performance, I did well, but she would always set it to lower.
One thing turned to another, I felt like I was her slave. I wasn’t an officer: I was like a personal assistant for her. Seemingly running her errands, making me do clerical work when I believed I was more effective doing analysis. Sometimes, even shaming me in front of the whole team.
The thing is, these happened almost 5 years ago. And though I have already forgotten most of the bad things she did to me personally that led to my resignation, they must have been so great that I still remember the pain, the shame, the underserved maltreatment, and the anger.
But believe it or not, I forgive her.
I believe she doesn’t think she has done me wrong to ever need to apologize. And looking back, perhaps she doesn’t even believe that what she did was wrong. Perhaps she believes she was training me, that the real world and dealing with it isn’t a breeze. That not everything in life is easy, or served on a silver platter. That not everyone you meet can be your friend.
And though these things came out as negative, I felt they were necessary. For me to be resilient, enduring, to be more patient, more understanding, and yes, to be more loving. Because these are virtues I so badly need to further develop now. Now that I am a wife, a mom, and a worship leader, I need those as I live to testify God’s grace and goodness in my life.
So, have I forgiven my former colleague? I must say that I have. I may remember the anger, but perhaps not towards the person, but towards the things done to the person I was before. I believe between then and now, I am completely different. Not a complete 180 degree turn for my life, but a full circle of change.
And you know what? I am somehow grateful for what she did. If she weren’t such a negative or bad force in my life, I wouldn’t have experienced and delighted in all the positive things in my life right now. She is still the worst boss I have ever worked with. But if lessons were people, she’d be one of the hardest I needed to learn.
If you know the person I am talking about, you may forward this to her. If you know someone who did the same to you, and you now feel the same, you may send this to them, along with these words:
Thank you, I forgive you. God bless you.
I am better.