It was common practice in the Feast that we think and discern of the message that God would like to say through us as a worship leader, and come up with a worship line up days before the Feast sessions.
Last week, I was tapped by a co-servant to lead worship for Wednesday Feast Festival Alabang (WFFA), because the assigned worship leader had some things to take care of, and would not be available. As it was an opportunity “to practice and hone my skills” as a worship leader, I said yes. Had to ask some “permissions” from ministry heads if it was okay, and they gave the go. I was told about it I think on a Friday.
Their practices were held on Mondays, so I had a few days to come up with a line up. I chose “Hindsight” and “Touch of Heaven” by Hillsong United, and “More Like Jesus” by Passion as a response song. Later on, with consultations with the Feast Builder, we changed the second song to “Your Will Be Done” by Feast Worship.
The initial message that I felt God wanted to say through me was that He will be with us every step of the way. The current series in the Feast was “Stages”, highlighting how God used David during the different times of His life. And somehow, it was a simple message. “I am with you always.”
I was early going to Festival Mall last Wednesday because we came from my daughter’s class, and I had a few hours to spare to prepare my lesson plans. I recently began a stint as a part-time instructor of three subjects for Grade 12, which I think was too much for a first time instructor. But when I was discerning whether to take the teaching job or not, God pressed upon my heart to “Do It Afraid.” Then this message aligned with a part of the book I was reading at the time. For some strange reason, the book cited the part (or perhaps there really was a part about it, that it just resonated with me) about taking risks and about God anointing whom He appoints.
Anyway, so, on my drive, I was asking the Lord to speak to me, and remind me of what He wanted to say. I already communicated with the team that message about God being with us, and present in every stage of our lives. I was listening to the song line up on repeat, when I was all of a sudden reminded of something that Arch. Soc Villegas shared during the Kerygma Conference some eight or nine years ago:
“Use me Lord, even when I am not ready.”
Somehow, when I was reminded of this, it kind of made His message a bit clearer. This was what He really wanted to say thru me all these time. And when I reflected more while listening to the songs, they are actually all about Trusting God with our lives, including our fears, and just let Him take the control.
I didn’t understand why I was crying upon this realization. But I knew and believed that the Holy Spirit just overwhelmed me, because somehow I felt that I caught Him speaking to me, and I was finally able to really listen. You know what I mean?
Then it aligned with me just trusting Him about my teaching stint. I was anxious about teaching actual students for the first time (I did employee trainings and trainings / workshops related to Ministry… But not academics..) I was made to realize that trusting Him involved doing things even if I’m not ready, even if I’m anxious, and even if I’m afraid. It especially involved praying and relying on Him on what I needed to say and how I needed to act, despite the fear and the anxiety.
During the huddle of servants for WFFA, I received confirmation of the message from other servants and the builder/preacher! One of the servants shared that somehow he knew that God was calling him to serve, but he was afraid to try, until he finally did it, and it took him 6 years. And he just needed to trust God that He will equip him of whatever he needs to serve Him better.
Bro. J wrapped up by saying that in order to recreate our lives, we need to just let go and let God. Actually, it was something like that (I just forgot the exact words huhuhu!), but believe me, what he said related to God’s message to me earlier. And of course, I told him about the alignment and the confirmation, and Glory to God that He talked to us so magnificently to receive the same message.
And so, what I learned from this experience is that God sometimes shake us when we have “misinterpreted” His message, and then He lets the Holy Spirit just overwhelm us with love to move our hearts, so we can see and hear His message much much clearer. Then, He sends His holy angels to other people and says it thru them as well, so that when they testify, I would find that it is aligned with what He told me, and then the message is confirmed.
Hope you experience the same. And I know most of you do. 🙂